tots

i m me
i m who

i m self
i m copycat
i m wanna-be
i m who

recently been having this "fill it in and send it back!" email thingy circulating around...
din actually answer any for anyone
n sent out to a few frenz..
got a reply
disappointed wif self..
someone i know unknowingly for 6yrs plus... simple things i oso dunno
disappointed wif self totally.. really
led to mani tots
mani mani tots running thru my head
realise i dun understand myself
realise i dun understand anyone else
useless me

ppl oni tend to treasure things they have lost
ppl oni tend to yearn for things they havent / couldnt get

my memory span seems short / partial of memories seems to hav been erased

upsetting
sad
disappointed

m i really bo sim

------
lookin back for the wk

monday (i think)
echo's friend shifted into our room
brought unhappiness into the room
got someone to service the table lights
insisted/forced us to on the lights saying tat it's good for the eyes.. trying to get to accomodate her
bitch wan on light, her business... wan us to on oso.. wtf
we off it ourselves
i m not used to tat glaring light
i had music on from my computer
she came over to ask me use earphone to listen instead
fine.. mayb my music disturbing her working
N i turn round to find her sleeping! wtf
evening complain say our room machiam jail cell

tuesday
morn come in on table lights (which we had adjusted the fluorescent lamp to off it) w/o even the simple courtesy to ask for permission... wtf.. fucking rude
then say more ppl coming to use the room after our attachment finish
bitch had known we dun like it.
she do things her own way
then ask for our individual names saying echo need to do review on us
wtf.. echo dunno our individual names ah... nbz
then rub away xh's notes on the whiteboard w/o permission
n wrote our names there.. n lab rules
n say blah blah
cannot tok cos disturb ppl
cannot on music cos disturb ppl.. when ask whether got ppl complain, she couldnt answer
prof came in
i ask him izzit ok tat we off the lamp
she not happy.. say got ask for our opinion bout oning the lamp
fucking bitch know how to turn words sia..
me n yl privately ask prof whether if echo is grading us
he say will ask her for review n assure us will b ok
told him tat echo is biased against male, he side her saying the gers were more efficient in their work
hell... simply tat everyone is biased against male
bitch in the room later seems to b emailing to prof complaining/backstabbing us
wrote bout wat lamp thingie
fuck! in this working environment, i real scare of failling my attachment n project
i've got no time to waste
it'll totally lame if we fail due to backstabbers or favourtism for the gers
evening bitch seems to b crying.. keeps sniffing.. dunno.. cant b bothered

timetable is out
i'm in 07? farnie.. dunno who in the class..

wednesday
came in the noon for work cos previous nite had been working from home till 3+
too tired
still tired
good thing bitch not around
hope wun hav her in the room for the rest of the days till we finished the attachment

workload is heavy
left wif 3 files since evening
dun think gonna do them
facing monitor whole day working is insane
leaving me wif dry painful bloodshot eyes

though i feel like playing diablo

feeling Zzz oso...