"lame" jokes

Question: Why is the "69" position also called the " smokers position?"

Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the
ashtray.

Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!

An old man married a young girl. On the wedding night he showed five
fingers to his wife.
Young girl : Ooh.. darling! 5 times?
Old man : No dear, choose which one you prefer to start with.

Man 1 : My wife is obsessed with cars. while asleep, she holds my bird &
says "1st gear, 2nd gear".
Man 2 : My wife is worst, she puts my bird inside her and says "Full Tank
Please".

Question : What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer : Your salary, it comes once a month, lasts about 5-7 days & if
it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.

Question : What is the smallest hotel in the world?
Answer : It's Virginia. Because it can only accommodate 1 standing
occupant and 2 pieces of baggage outside!

2 prostitutes (Bitches) were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Bitch 1 : I smell sperm!
Bitch 2 : Sorry, I burped!!!

A woman gave birth to 6 babies & seeing this, she immediately got out of
hospital, slapped her husband & shouted, "I told you not to go doggy
style!"

A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank.
The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is a fake".
"Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been ...raped".

Man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra.
Chemist said " It would be useless."
Man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question, I just want to stop peeing on
my shoes".

Reporter: Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would
you care to comment on this?
Man: "The truth is that she has a big mouth!"

A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love.
She said, "Aww, so solly... exkooz me pleazo, Flont hole so happy, back
hole laugh out loud".

What is common between a swimming pool and a wife ?
For both, we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.

Love is a complicated piece of machinery.
Sometimes, all you need is a good screw to fix it.

Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good partner, you better have
a good hand.

What's the difference between biology and sociology?
When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the
baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

What is the useless piece of flesh attached to the penis called ?
The Man.

Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" has never seen a
pussy before.

Why is breast milk good for health?
Because it is great for blood circulation, provides heat, is refreshing &
comes in attractive containers.

Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and
still suck blood?"
God said, "Okay" and Poof! Dracula turned into a sanitary pad".

Why was two-piece bikinis invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Mother was scolding the daughter, " I don't like the guy you are going out
with. He is too dumb".
"No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a doctor & he has already cured
me of that illness that I used to have every month!"